Saturday, November 13, 2010

Running Blind

The title of this post is allegorical in a sense. Such deep spiritual meaning and as I found out tonight a very literal meaning. Elyse, June, Kristin and I were having a fun night watching old videos of us as a family sledding at a hill a few blocks from our house in Denver when we took a short pause to manage the stench that was coming from Elyse's pants. Lately I have found that Elyse is motivated at times when we race each other to do something that she doesn't necessarily get excited about otherwise. So tonight was one of those moments that we raced to her room to take care of her diaper. As we turned the corner to the hallway Elyse was in the lead and gaining ground on me. The next thing I knew Elyse was at full speed and raced straight into the oncoming wall like a 240 pound running back taking on a 375 pound defensive lineman. She ricocheted back and fell to the floor and all I could do was ask "What the heck just happened?" I realized soon thereafter that she was running with her eyes closed. Little did she know the impact that this would have on her forehead. I still don't know where she got this idea and let alone felt the need to reenact the activity. I felt so bad for my little girl. All I could do was console her and give some ice for her forehead.

Tonight I realized what my heavenly father does for me on a daily basis. I must run into walls at a full sprint with my eyes closed. It is amazing how a small lamp can light a path. Not to illimunate the whole house or the whole room but just enough to see the hallway and avoid the corner of a wall. Make sure to keep a light on.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Memoryless Property

I suppose you can call me a real Ph.D. student now because I'm about to relate a fundamental property I'm learning about to my real life. I've been studying too much I guess. The title to this post is the name of a property that describes the way a certain random variable behaves. To avoid too much jargon it basically says that this given variable behaves in a certain way until any given point in time. At that point the behavior effectively starts over and the remaining time of the variables life mimics the behavior of the first part hence a "memoryless" property to this variable. I'm sure that if any of my colleagues or professors were to read this they would laugh at the fact that my poor description of this property clearly indicates my lack of understanding of relatively clear concepts. Regardless I will write more in hopes to better explain why I even bring this up.

Currently I feel as though I'm in a circus. I promise I didn't explain the above simply to tell you I'm a clown. If someone was looking in from the outside it would appear that I'm in the middle of a tent riding a unicycle while juggling 5 bowling pins. That definitely sounds like I'm a talented individual but not exactly what I'm trying to get at. This has been our week. So much going on and so much juggling happening. If someone tries to add one more bowling pin for us to juggle we just might drop a pin. We don't want a pity party but you can send cupcakes. random but I like cupcakes at parties. No one wants to drop something they are juggling. We want to succeed, put on a good show and in some ways be perfect. Which leads me to why I discussed the property above.

As I approach this point in which I feel I cannot juggle anymore I reach a breaking point that forces me to ask for help. Someone who can help me juggle or show me that it may be ok to drop a pin. Not from a friend or family member but from my Lord who gives strength, direction, and a peace that I cannot fully understand. He shows me a glimpse of my story that he is unfolding in these moments and the reason for the circus. You ask how often do I reach this point? Weekly, daily, hourly, all of the above? Yes. In those breaking moments I am brought to a place where I realize the Lord's promises to sustain and to carry our burdens. However, the very next second I forget this truth of which I am reminded and start the process all over again. How dumb am I? Thus in my rambling I have come full circle back to how my life resembles a random variable that exhibits no memory and forgets its past experiences which I briefly described above. What if I lived in a way that I am daily reminded of His goodness and promises rather than turning my back and forgetting almost immediately after the reminder? Seems silly not to. Maybe I am the clown.

Sunday, November 07, 2010


Thanks to the extra hour of sleep, which for some reason my kids didn't take advantage of, I was motivated to bake this morning in hopes to bring a little smile to my families face. Kristin has been so tired getting up and feeding every 2-3 hours so Elyse and I woke up at what is now 6 o'clock and got started with some delicious muffins. I wanted to make Kristin's favorite, blueberry muffins, but we didn't have enough blueberries so we used a mixed berries instead. Just as good. Elyse was so excited to help. She helped put in almost all the ingredients. As we progressed through the recipe and were combining all the ingredients I saw in my little daughter the reason I have a passion for baking. The picture below says it all.

The batter of whatever you are making whether cookies, a cake, or muffins is so amazing. All Elyse could say is I love it! We had so much fun together. When it came time to sprinkle the topping on the muffins all Elyse's arm, and more correctly her taste buds, would let her do was grab a handful of muffin batter out of the tin and put it straight in her mouth. Hilarious.

So I also have to admit something about myself. I don't like things to get messy because I really don't like to clean up the mess. Especially when it comes to cooking. Kristin can attest to that. Well this morning I decided to bite my tongue and let Elyse have fun with it. So when it came time to clean up it was no problem. Bath time in the sink while washing dishes. A perfect solution. I think Elyse had more fun with the clean up than she did the baking.

Well since things have been a bit crazy we haven't been able to post about Elyse's harvest party that we went to. A big church in West Allen put on a huge production with huge slides, food, and games. Below are a few pictures. Elyse hasn't stopped talking about all the things that she saw there. I thought, "She is too young, will she even remember?" I was way wrong. All she has talked about since are the things that she saw at the carnival. Kids are amazing. Enjoy the pictures.

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Birthday Boy
So I am a little behind on posting but it is never to late. I wanted to say Happy Birthday to my amazing hubby! He is the best husband and dad (of 2 girls now, crazy to think we have 2 girls) and I am so blessed to have him in my life. I am also so proud of him for taking the step towards his PhD, I know it is not easy, but he is doing awesome with balancing school, work, and family. I wish I was better with words to describe how truly amazing you are, but I love you Paul! So his birthday was not as a big deal this year, not because we didn't try, but because of June coming into this world. Sorry Paul, but hopefully you still felt special. The Monday before June came we had a little get together with his family. Paul loves to bake and wanted me/us to try making a cheesecake. He found this Martha Stewart no bake cheesecake and it turned out amazing! We had a great time celebrating with family and having a relaxed night. Then on Friday night (his actual birthday) we went out to Mi Cocina for some dinner and yes June came along and did great. It is nice to have lots of help:) We had fun celebrating both June and Paul!

June was singing Happy Birthday to Paul, she is way advanced!